Why Mentors, Peers and Support Triggers Me More Than It Used To

If you’ve already understood that increased triggering in support relationships is often a feature of development — increased sensitivity registering things more accurately — and the triggering is continuing to increase or has reached a level that significantly interferes with your ability to benefit from support, the situation requires a more differentiated response.

At the advanced stage, the question isn’t why you’re triggering. You’ve probably answered that adequately. The question is: at this level of triggering, what is the appropriate response — and what are you doing instead?

Three Possible Responses, Ranked by Appropriateness

Response One: Lower the triggering by finding support environments that match your development level. If you’re triggering more because your support environment no longer matches where you are, the appropriate response is finding a better match. More sensitive person, more matched environment — triggering returns to a manageable level.

Response Two: Develop greater metabolic capacity for what the triggering is registering. If the triggering is accurate signal of real dynamics that your sensitivity is registering correctly, the appropriate response is developing greater capacity to be with the signal — more processing capacity, more regulation capacity, more capacity to metabolize what is being received.

Response Three: Reduce exposure. If the environment is genuinely harmful and the triggering is an accurate alarm, the appropriate response is reducing or ending exposure.

Diagnosing which response is appropriate requires honest assessment of which situation is actually present.

The Common Mistake at the Advanced Stage

The common mistake at the advanced stage is applying Response Three when Response One or Two is what’s indicated — concluding that the triggering means the support isn’t right and should be ended, when it actually means the support needs to be upgraded or the metabolic capacity developed.

The highly triggered advanced practitioner is often leaving support environments too early — concluding from the triggering that the environment is wrong, when the triggering is actually signal that the environment is almost right but needs one specific adjustment.

The premature exit mistake in advanced support triggering produces a pattern of leaving environments that were close to working, just before the closeness could translate into genuine match.

The Triage Practice

Before leaving any support environment in which triggering is increasing: distinguish between the specific sources of the triggering. Which elements of the environment are generating genuine misalignment that should be addressed by changing the environment? Which are generating accurate signal that should be metabolized? Which are generating accurate alarm that should lead to reduced exposure?

Different elements of the same environment may call for different responses.

You are not behind. The highly triggered advanced practitioner is not failing at support — they’re at the frontier where the specificity of the diagnostic determines the appropriateness of the response.

If you want to try a support environment where the triggering analysis can be done more specifically, the Abundance GPS Skool community offers a free trial. Join here.