How Awareness Transforms Your Relationship to Partner and Family Dynamics (Part 2)
The first exploration addressed what awareness changes in the general relationship to the pattern. This exploration addresses the specific skills of awareness that make the most difference in relational practice.
The Timing of Awareness
There are three timing positions relative to the pattern’s activation:
Pre-activation awareness. Noticing the anticipatory state — the body preparing for a relational interaction before it occurs. This awareness allows preparation and intention-setting before the pattern fires.
Mid-activation awareness. Noticing the pattern in the moment of firing — the accommodation happening, the position being abandoned, the withdrawal beginning. This awareness creates the possibility of choice, though the choice is hardest here.
Post-activation awareness. Noticing the pattern after the fact — reviewing what happened, identifying where the pattern ran and what its effects were. This is the easiest awareness position and produces the most available evidence for learning.
Building From Post-Activation Back
Most people begin with post-activation awareness — they notice what happened after it’s over. This is the most accessible starting point.
Building the work from this foundation: consistent post-activation review, written, over time. Gradually, this develops mid-activation awareness as the patterns become more recognizable.
Mid-activation awareness, developed through consistent post-activation review, eventually supports pre-activation awareness — the ability to notice “this is the kind of situation where the pattern is likely to activate” and prepare accordingly.
The Awareness Stack
The full awareness stack — pre, mid, and post — provides the coverage that makes consistent practice possible. But the stack builds from the bottom. Start with post-activation review. Let the rest develop from that foundation.
The daily practice includes all three awareness positions.
The Abundance GPS Skool community supports the collective development of this awareness.
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