The Magic Formula For Self-Love

The Magic Formula For Self-Love

Do you know what it truly means to love yourself? In this article, I’ll give you the authentic elements of self-love.

Most of us already know the typical yet sometimes superficial ways to do this. However, these popular methods can backfire even if the intention is coming from a good place.

Aside from deep analysis and discussion on the components of self-love, you’ll also learn the following:

  • Mankind’s greatest trauma
  • The dark side of self-improvement
  • Why people learned to wear masks

Ready to embark on this profound journey? Hop right on!

The Secret Ingredients Of Self-Love

The authentic components of self-love include fully accepting oneself, as well as self-improvement rooted in positive self-esteem and self-worth. It also involves fearless self-expression, allowing the carefully crafted mask to be removed. 

Unpopular Yet True Components Of Self-Love

How does one actually love themself? Figure it out by reading below!

#1 Full self-acceptance

Full self-acceptance

The first element of self-love is complete acceptance.

It is also one of the most important because it is easy for us to celebrate parts of ourselves that are loved by others.

What’s difficult for most is acknowledging and embracing sides that they’ve been led to believe are less desirable.

By the way, working on limiting beliefs is vital to your growth. For further reading, here are articles on the subject:

Rejecting parts of ourselves is a common occurrence.

Here’s why:

In my previous post 3 Biggest Secrets About Judgment, I talked about how self-hatred is caused by childhood trauma.

Our upbringing and the process of socialization have heavily impacted our ability to love ourselves.

Let me explain further.

Upon coming into this world, you are already who you needed to be.

Get more detailed information on the topic in this post:

You see, you’re here for a specific purpose and that is highlighted through your uniqueness.

What ends up happening is that your adult caregivers, as well as society, have shamed parts of you that stand out.

They do this because they are afraid and threatened. They also saw repressed parts of themselves in you.

Being a young person whose survival literally depends on the people around them, you’ve learned to adjust.

You’ve hidden parts of yourself that you were told were bad.

You’ve only cultivated the ones that were rewarded and deemed as good.

This is why the act of accepting yourself, with everything that you are, is one of the greatest displays of self-love.

It will allow you to reconnect with your purpose.

Moreover, being your authentic self will bring you happiness that you’ve never known before.

I would also like to point out that sometimes, we don’t even recognize that we don’t fully accept ourselves.

Allow me to share a hack with you:

If you’re the type of person who is constantly looking to improve, you might be rejecting parts of yourself.

So, how do you know if your knack for betterment is healthy or not?

Let’s go to the next number.

#2 Positive self-improvement

Positive self-improvement

You may be thinking, “If self-improvement helps us become better people, how can it be bad?”

Here’s the thing:

Who are we to say what’s truly good or bad?

Isn’t this concept dependent on perspective?

Anyways, self-improvement can be unhealthy if you are changing the truth about yourself.

Most people don’t know the reality of who they are.

Worse, they spend years of their lives despising their true self.

What they truly want is to iron out their perceived imperfections.

In other words, their desire to be better comes from a place of:

  • Fear
  • Guilt
  • Neurosis
  • Competition

Just in case this is you and you’re having trouble recognizing your true self, I highly recommend you read the following articles. These will change your life!

So, how do we improve while being our authentic selves?

This is how:

  • Know that you are already fully perfect
  • Realize that you are worthy all of the time

Moreover, your definition of self-improvement should include the following:

  • Self-growth
  • Boost in experience
  • Increase in consciousness

#3 Authentic self-expression

Authentic self-expression

Circling back to the subject of negatively-rooted self-improvement, you might be wondering, “Why do we have false ideas of ourselves?”

Well, it all boils down to self-betrayal.

This started in our childhood.

We all grew up under several authority figures (parents, teachers, society, etc).

These figures placed expectations on us as children.

We weren’t able to meet these expectations perhaps because of two things:

  • We weren’t ready
  • It wasn’t the right fit for us

In fact, the expectations themselves could be very incorrect.

However, a little child doesn’t have the reasoning ability developed to analyze this.

And so, they do their best to meet these expectations due to the following: 

  • Eagerness to please people
  • Need for love and acceptance
  • Belief that the adults around them know better

There are even some children who are forced to comply and have no choice on the matter.

Sadly, despite great effort, there are times when the child simply cannot fulfill said demands.

This leads to the following:

  • Further Suppressed Self-Expression: A child may react by expressing itself regarding the issue. They say that it is hurting them, they’re afraid, don’t want to participate, etc. However, this is often only met with anger from the authority figure. This causes more pain and further suppression of expression.
  • Self-Hatred & Belief They’re Inherently Bad: Another reaction that may take place is that the child sees itself as the problem. They dislikes themself for not being able to do what was expected of them. They now think something must be inherently wrong with them since they are experiencing something hurtful.

As a result, a mask is created.

It is built for the specific purpose of preventing that same experience from happening again as a form of self-protection.

The parts of itself that were criticized are now carefully hidden.

The mask they have created only has the approved judgments, beliefs, and behaviors.

This is why if you meet someone who acts like a “tough guy”, there is a strong possibility that this person grew up thinking that expressing love made people weak.

He or she might also be the opposite of what they are trying to appear to be.

Can you think of a mask that you’re probably wearing right now?

Although it has kept you safe as a child or throughout the years, it’s not good for you.

The thing is, you’re rewarded with praises, especially from your authority figures, with this mask.

This will further reinforce the belief that, since your strategy is working, something really is wrong with you somewhere.

That’s not true.

You were already perfect as a child.

So, how can you heal?

First, acknowledge that your authority figures themselves are simply people with their own fears and erroneous assumptions about life.

Second, you need to reconnect with your inner child (I gave you article suggestions on this topic above).

What were the things you were naturally inclined to as a kid?

What was your attitude and behavior like before you were socialized?

Third, you have to be courageous enough to keep on following this path.

Be your true self and stay dedicated to it.

Of course, the love and acceptance of other people feel good.

However, there is no greater love than self-love.

Folks who surround you should be the ones to support you and not drag you down.

But, it always has to start within you.


In this article, you’ve learned the top three elements of self-love:

  • Self-acceptance
  • Positive self-improvement
  • Being your authentic self (without the mask)

I hope that with each and every day you will practice these self-loving acts.

If ever you encounter road blocks due to limiting beliefs, please seek help and support.

You can start with the Spirituality & The Subconscious Revealed & Reprogrammed course.

It is easy-to-learn and super convenient. I’ve included everything you’re going to need to transcend your blockages.

You can also grab a copy of my book Who Am I? Finally, a Simple Answer the Question, “How Can I Be Happy?”

It’s available on Amazon via a Kindle version.

If you want totally free resources, I write about life-changing posts regularly.

Sign up for my newsletter to get them through email or simpy visit my blog section whenever you need to.

By the way, I’m curious. What suppressed parts of you are you looking forward to working on?

I’d like to know in the comments section below!

I really appreciate you reading this post.

See you in the next one!

About The Author

Picture of David Cameron Gikandi

David Cameron Gikandi

A creative consultant on The Secret (2006) documentary, David Cameron Gikandi is an entrepreneur and manifesting coach and consultant for conscious entrepreneurs, leaders, life coaches who are looking to create more impact in their lives. He also helps them decode their essence so they can bring that into their lives, businesses, tribes and societies. He is also the author of A Happy Pocket Full of Money and other publications. David is also a futurist interested in blockchain technology which he believes will have wide-ranging applications including decentralized finance (DeFi). He holds a BSc. in International Business, an MSc. in Information Technology, a Dip. in Film Production, is a Microsoft Certified Solution Developer, and a Blockchain Revolution in Financial Services Specialization from INSEAD.

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