This wonderful question was asked by one of my private 1-on-1 coaching clients.
It is such a great question, that I decided to make a blog post out of it because it is something many of us can identify with, right?
My Client’s Situation…
For the sake of privacy, let us call her Joy (not her real name).
“I feel like my manifestations take time and the impact they have in the physical realm are very subtle and incremental, like going from 58,000USD/year to 200,000USD per year… BUT taking 4 years to achieve that – and I would say that my lifestyle hasn’t necessarily dramatically changed. It has improved a bit, but nothing major… Time seems too long to turn the corner. So yes I believe, but I feel like I believe in small chunks and it then takes time to manifest the small beliefs… My initial thought and belief on this is that we all have different levels of development and mine must have just been quite low so it’s taking me ages to get some results (a bit like a new born cant expect to eat solid food at 4 weeks old..) … I’ve listened to the Self View and World View teaching. I don’t want to take 10 years to change mine… In your opinion, what is the reason for me experiencing that and what is your opinion on the topic and what do you recommend to change this situation around?”
It is a GREAT question, isn’t it?
For The Solution To SPEED & MAGNITUDE Of Change, The Points I Will Make Here Are…
- It’s all about beliefs (and the vibration they create)
- Emotions are the key
- Self-awareness and acceptance is the first step
- Embracing your divinity is the boost button, the way to speed and magnitude
So, let’s get started!
But first, a disclaimer… These are just my thoughts, my perspective – I do not in any way claim they are the absolute, unquestionable truth. Simply use my perspective to find your own truth.
1. It’s all about beliefs (and the vibration they create)
I keep saying… at the end of the day, it is always always always about your core vibration! Effort, time, hard work, fairness, etc etc have negligible effect if the vibration doesn’t shift.
And there is no better way to demonstrate this than using examples…
Let’s forget money for now. We will come back to it later. Let’s instead look at relationships.
Now, we all know or have heard of people who keep attracting abusive partners, right? They do it for decades! And then their kids do it, and their grand kids do it… And they wonder why this crap keeps “happening to them”. They change partners, same crap. They change where they live, how much they earn, they go on diet, they dress better, they go on blind dates or use match making services… no matter what they do, they keep getting abusive partners. I think many of us have heard of these stories or even know someone… They seem to keep returning to a zone that they are used to, even if it is painful… YET… the solution seems simple to someone who is not programmed with that self-view, world-view… simply walk out and don’t tolerate abuse! Simple. Takes no time for outsiders! Instant fix! Yet for someone in playing that abusive relationship game, it seems like an inescapable trap that lasts for generations! The vibrations created by their belief system keeps attracting the abuser-type partners, over and over again, no matter what the person does!
Let’s consider animals now… Horses and Elephants…
Have you noticed that wild horses do their own thing, and it is a big task to “break” a wild horse and tame it? It is literally called “breaking” a horse. And once it has been “broken”, what does it do? If you open the gates to it’s corral, it may walk out and even pretend to leave. But it will walk a certain distance, look back at the corral, and run back in. It becomes it’s own “prison warden”! WOW! See the power of conditioning at work?
OK, now, consider domesticated elephants. Now, an elephant is a pretty big animal! It can crush a person with no sweat at all. Yet, what do mahouts do? Initially, when the elephant is still wild, they tie up the elephant’s leg with a chain as they train it and so on, and after a while, the elephant get’s used to that chain, that place it was chained to. And when you take out the chain, that massive elephant can walk away, but as soon as it has gone a bit of a distance, it brings itself back to it’s captor! It’s crazy! But it shows the power of what we are dealing with here. Self-views, world-views, beliefs… The elephant or the horse can walk out in a jiffy, but they don’t. But we are only just warming up… Keep reading…
For this next one, let’s look at a true story of a bulimic/anorexic person, and for this I’d like to quote from the wonderful book called Breaking Free from the Victim Trap: Reclaiming Your Personal Power by Diane Zimberoff.
Now, although this example deals with victimisation, I am not in any way claiming my client is in a victim game of any kind, nor am I suggesting that she is compulsive in any way – I am simply giving an example to illustrate the bigger picture of the gravitational grip of subconscious conditioning, how it works, and the liberating power of seeing through the beliefs – self view and world view – behind it, and how fast change occurs once this happens…
Secondly, although the following example is focused on an unhealthy mother-child relationship, I am not encouraging anyone to blame anyone else for what’s happening now. The blame game never helps, ever. What we are doing here is simple forensics and solution-seeking, not blame.
Now, this example is about Rose, a person who has struggled with bulimia (binging and purging) since childhood all the way into adult-hood, marriage and parenthood – so many years. Yet, when she saw through it all, the whole thing was solved in just a few DAYS! I quote:
Most compulsive disorders involve the victim triangle. The nature of compulsive disorders is that the person always feels “helpless” against the compulsion. In other words, “the compulsion” has control of the person’s life.
This can be any addiction including but not limited to alcohol, sugar, drugs, gambling, spending, or eating. The compulsion becomes the persecutor and the person becomes the victim of that substance or behavior.
Obviously, since a substance does not have power of its own, the victim is giving power to that substance, relinquishing power in order to resume the familiar position of the victim.
It is a well-accepted principle that we humans seek out what is familiar, what is well-known. Actually, after a recent horseback riding trip, I’ve realized that all animals seek to return to the familiar. Have you ever noticed how horses don’t really like to leave their corral? They walk slowly away, yet they speed back in their fastest gait when allowed to. When children grow up feeling helpless to control their environment, they tend to re-create that feeling. In effect they “return to the corral” as soon as possible. The tendency to return to this “powerless” position is increased when the child has observed one or more of her parents continually feeling helpless or being victimized.
It is becoming obvious to Rose [Diane’s client] that the pressure she is putting on herself is overwhelming. She was to keep up this front of perfection with her husband, her child, her family and her friends. The more pressure she feels, the more she binges and throws up. It is an endless, vicious cycle that leaves her feeling like a helpless victim. This is a feeling she has learned in her family and repeated all throughout her life.
People tend to re-create the same feelings that they had during their childhood. No matter how unpleasant the feelings are, they will be recreated just because they are familiar.
The next session is a turning point for Rose. She comes in and states that she is feeling somewhat more in control, but she is still bingeing and purging. Not as much as before, however, which gives her the validation that we are on the right track.
I ask Rose to go back to the most recent time that she was feeling the urge to throw up and describe that feeling.
She describes feeling scared of not doing what’s right, of not pleasing others, and of not being perfect.
[I place her under hypnosis, and] I instruct the subconscious mind to go back to the source of this feeling. Rose raises her finger and I ask her how old she is.
She answers in a very small child’s voice, “I’m little, about a year old. My mom is ‘hovering’ over me.”
She begins to get very upset.
“She won’t even let me try. She’s there already thinking I can’t do it. She’s always doing it for me. I feel suffocated by her. I can’t breathe with her hovering over me.”
I instruct her to talk to her mother now, in this scene at age one, and tell her how she feels.
“I feel choked by your constant hovering over me. I don’t have any room to breathe. I don’t have any room to be me. You’re always there wanting me to be perfect, and yet thinking that I can’t do things. You never give me the chance to learn. You’re robbing me of the chance to learn. I feel so helpless to have control of my life with you always right there.”
The things she is saying to her mother sound very familiar. These are the same feelings she has described about the bulimia.
“How does this relate to your purging habit?” I ask her.
She begins to get excited. “It’s the same -it’s the same exact feeling!” she exclaims.
Now we’re getting down to the source of this problem. I instruct her to talk to her habit now.
She begins, “You keep me from doing what I want. You are always there, hovering over me. I feel choked and suffocated by you. You always get in my way. You rob me of the chance to really be me. You make me feel totally out of control. I feel controlled by you. I feel squashed by you. You take hold of me and I can’t get away from you. Leave me alone, get out of my life!” she yells.
Rose is beginning to realize that her habit is producing the same feelings inside of her that her mother had produced when she was growing up.
She begins talking to her mother now. “I need the freedom to live my life without you always being there. I need to be free of your critical eye always watching over me. You’re always thinking I’m doing it wrong. I feel so trapped by you. And now I’ve created a neurosis with food that I feel trapped by. I’ve re-created you in my life!”
This is a very heavy realization for Rose. For a few moments, she is overwhelmed by it. She continues since she is now in a very deep state of hypnosis, a state where the “truth” becomes painfully obvious.
“I so much wanted to be perfect so you would love me. But nothing I did ever seemed to please you. I kept trying harder and harder and just felt more and more helpless. I felt like I was doing so much wrong I could never be perfect.”
Rose begins to experience a time when she is a very small child. “
I’m in diapers. Her eyes are staring at me. She’s too close!”
I can see that a kind of panic is setting in, the same type of panic feeling she describes when she has to throw up. She begins to scream at her mother now.
“You’re too close, back off! Get out of my face. I’ve got to ‘get rid’ of you –you’re smothering me. I’m choking. I feel like I have to throw up!”
She becomes overwhelmed with her truth now. She is laughing and crying at the same time as her realization becomes so blatantly obvious.
“That’s it!” she shouts. “Every time I throw up, I’m trying to ‘get rid’ of my mother. I’m trying to ‘get rid’ of all those feelings inside of me. I’m throwing up that panic and fear that’s sitting in my gut. And I’m re-creating this situation over and over again every day of my life. How sick!”
Rose is excited by her clear moment of “truth.” She can see now how she was making herself into a victim, a victim of her addictive habit.
Once the realization comes, that she has created this, the healing can take place.
She then realizes that she is in control since she has created it. I can then instruct her to claim that power and use it to create healthy habits in her life. I instruct Rose now to become the loving, nurturing parent to the little child within her. I ask her to re-parent her inner child. She begins to talk to the child within.
“I love you just the way you are. I trust that you can do things by yourself. You don’t have to be perfect because I love you unconditionally.”
There is a soft feeling in the room. Rose has her arms around herself and I can feel the love she has for her child within, for herself. Once she begins to know that she is lovable and that she deserves love, the healing takes place. She continues to talk to her child.
“I’m your new mom. I feel great and I think you’re great! I believe that you make good choices. You have good judgment. You are very wise. I can love you without smothering you. I can love you and give you the space to be yourself.”
Rose begins to cry with joy now as she experiences true self-love on a profoundly deep level. This is the beginning of self-esteem for Rose, a feeling she previously knew nothing about.
As Rose peeled away the first layer, which helped her to deal with her bulimic addiction, she began to take a really good look at what was underneath. She began to see the victim pattern.
…we are provided with relationships that give us the opportunity to heal or change the old unhealthy patterns of our past. Whether the past is other lives, or the recent past of our own families, is not the main issue. Through our relationships we must learn to love ourselves and others; it’s that simple.
I hope that clarified some things. Here are some sample videos from the beliefs module in the Fundamentals of Reality Creation course:
Thoughts & Thought Forms
For the rest of the beliefs videos, see the Fundamentals of Reality Creation course.
2. Emotions are the key
And this brings us to the second point… Emotions are the key.
Emotions ALWAYS indicate to us what our hidden subconscious beliefs are. What our self-view and world-view is.
And the way we learn to block ourselves emotionally is the way we learn to maintain our inner prisons! This is what created “delay” in manifesting our desires. This is what keeps us entrapped!
And that is why emotional vulnerability is the solution!
Look at it this way:
- The more you become aware of what you feel, and you ask yourself what belief would be making you feel this way, the more you realise what your subconscious programming is. And awareness is all you need to effect change. Without awareness, patterns can continue forever. With awareness, they immediately “see the light” and automatically begin to transform.
- The more you allow yourself to feel outside of what you previously allowed yourself to feel (this is called emotional vulnerability), the more you allow blocked emotions and energy to be free, and once it has been freed, it leads you to your new life! No more delays!
To understand all this better, here are some video clips from our Undefeated Mind & Emotional Mastery course in the Subconscious Reprogrammed & Revealed:
Why Are Emotions Even Much More Important And Much More Powerful Than I Thought They Were?
An Introduction To The Power Of Emotional Vulnerability (Openness, Flow) And How To Do It
Embracing The Yin & Yang
Power Vs Force, Yin Vs Yang
If you don’t already have it, you can get that course here: Undefeated Mind & Emotional Mastery in the Subconscious Reprogrammed & Revealed
3. Self-awareness and acceptance is the first step
So, the next obvious step is that for you to become emotionally vulnerable, to give yourself permission to FEEL, and therefore CHANGE, you need to accept yourself as you are, first and foremost.
In fact, forget about trying to change for now.
First accept yourself as you are.
This is the secret key, the gate to freedom. It takes no time to be who you are, right?
So just stop all the effort-ing, and just relax into yourself as you are, where you are. This then allows you to know yourself (self-awareness). Once you know yourself, change will happen automatically! The “invisible traps” become visible, and you see through them and they resolve automatically – all you need to do is give yourself permission to change, and it is done for you.
One easy way to develop self-awareness is to ask yourself certain questions and write down the answers that come up, just like we show you how to do in the Know Thyself course over in the Subconscious Reprogrammed & Revealed.
4. Embracing your divinity is the turbo-boost button, the way to SPEED and MAGNITUDE
OK, I agree… religion has made some of us not want to hear the word God! Understandably so. Some of us feel uncomfortable with the idea of religion. And I am not talking about religion. Not at all. So relax!
What I am talking about is your own divinity, what is inside your very DNA. The point here is that there is something inside you that is of tremendous power! Infinite power! And wisdom.
It is built into every person, no exceptions.
But we deny it and instead hold onto the mask we learned to build around ourself as we grew up.
Yet, the minute you allow your divinity to, it will literally (1) tell you what is the next step, all the way from beginning to end, and it knows the very best next step, always! And (2) it will help you where you need help, and it is the best help you can ever get. In this way, you can literally transform overnight in some cases. Very fast! All it needs is your permission – it never overrides you – you always have to call and allow. That is all you have to do.
This has nothing to do with any particular religion – you don’t have to believe in any particular faith – you don’t even have to be a “good person” to enjoy it. For it is an inbuilt aspect of all humans, no exceptions, no judgement.
To better explain this, watch this video from the Know Thyself course in the Subconscious Reprogrammed & Revealed:
Introduction: Switching From The Small, Troubled, Ego Self To The Divine Self
Back to money and speed and magnitude of change… from the examples above, you can see that it doesn’t matter what the topic is… relationships, bulimia, weight issues… its is, at the core, about vibration.
And so it is with money.
For example, as you may know from my crazy but true personal life story, I was born in a dictator-run third-world country, under a domineering father, and this setup meant I had to play the victim-persecutor-rescuer game to survive. And so I was conditioned for limitation and low self-esteem. And until I healed that, as an adult, I tended to sabotage my financial efforts in all sorts of miraculous ways, despite my best efforts, so that I was always in a bind, in a trap, a trap that felt EXACTLY like how I felt as a child. In other words, my finances were always at a state whereby I felt like a victim, with “outside forces” denying me from living the life I deserve – sidelined, in shortage, inadequate, broken, damaged, fake, not good enough. Until I resolved this self-view and world-view, my subconscious kept doing things that (1) replicated my conditioned emotional space from my upbringing and (2) kept me “safe” from the perceived “dangers” that this victim-persecutor-rescuer game had programmed me with. But as soon as I saw through my own subconscious antics – VOILA! Everything changed! And it changed FAST! Meaning, a problem can hang around for years, decades even, but once the beliefs behind it are seen and faced, they melt away literally within minutes or days, and the transformation is miraculously fast!
YET… The SPEED at which transformation happens is directly proportional to how squarely, truthfully and openly you face the issue without trying to “escape”, how honestly you seek emotional truth instead of dodging and stuffing down emotions. Then, turbo-boost speed and magnitude happens when you ask your divinity for assistance.
And so this is what you actually need to place your awareness on. And for most of us, as Diane Zimberoff says in her book, “Therapy is like peeling away layers of an artichoke; as you peel away the outside leaves, another layer is there to deal with. And those leaves are prickly. After peeling away many layers, you get to the heart, to the core of who you really are.”
How fast you peel away the layers, meaning how fast you deepen your self-awareness, is directly dependent on how open you are and how much self-acceptance and self-love you practice, are you are, no matter how you are, now. Paradoxically, it is the act of self-acceptance that creates the capability to effect change!
I hope this has been helpful. Please leave your comments, thoughts, and so on, below.