How To Reconnect With Your Inner Child

inner child

Looking to rebuild the bond with your inner child? My article will go in-depth on this subject.

Feeling lost, empty, inauthentic, as well as lacking a sense of meaning and purpose are some of the signs that you’ve failed to reintegrate this aspect of yourself.

You already possess the innate strength and power to overcome this challenge. Allow me to aid you in this endeavor by providing the following information:

  • Why your inner child is your true self
  • What you can do to re=establish this connection
  • How you became disconnected in the first place
  • Why it’s absolutely important to reintegrate your inner child

If you’re all set to take on this life-changing journey, keep reading!

How To Awaken The Child In You

To awaken the inner child, an individual must engage in play – having an easygoing mindset, pursuing creative endeavors, and nurturing a sense of wonder and adventure. They must also accept themself holistically and unconditionally, as well as provide safety when unleashing the inner child.

3 Ways To Reconnect With Your Inner Child

3 Ways To Reconnect With Your Inner Child

The human experience is so complex that most of us carry baggage from our past.

Some of it we are aware of. There are also aspects that we unknowingly take with us.

Many won’t bother learning more about it since it has become normalized in our society.

Then there’s the select few.

There’s you and those who have taken the time to search for answers and delve deeper.

You’ve managed to push through the discomfort and dared to ask what’s behind the pain.

If you’ve been seeking to restore the connection with your inner child, you’ve already accomplished the first step: awareness.

Now that you’ve managed to pinpoint the source, it’s time for solutions.

#1 Acceptance


The process of social programming has made you turn against yourself.

Since you were a kid, you’ve been conditioned to believe that parts of you were unacceptable, unlovable.

But, that’s not true!

There is nothing wrong with you.

You’re worthy of love, attention, success, and a good life exactly as you are, the entirety of you.

And so, you need to return to who you were before all the programming started.

Bring back your inner child.

Accept the parts of yourself that others told you were undesirable.

#2 Play


In addition to self-acceptance, play is also of utmost importance.

Just like a child, you can engage in this state by:

  • Allowing
  • Exploring
  • Letting go
  • Enjoying life
  • Taking life lightly
  • Creating something
  • Reaching enlightenment

And so, let yourself be absorbed in play. This way, you will nourish your inner child and be able to harness your full potential and true self.

#3 Expression


Lastly, let your inner child emerge, feel safe, and be free to participate in daily life.

You will soon realize that it is almost indistinguishable from when you were physically a child.

The only difference is that it now has security in wisdom and understanding.

Its abilities have also developed and changed form.

It is a transformation from the innocent child to the wise child.

3 Blocks That Prevent You From Accessing Your Inner Child

3 Blocks That Prevent You From Accessing Your Inner Child

Although the three solutions I presented above may seem easy, it’s actually challenging to re-establish the bond with your inner child.

So don’t be too hard on yourself if you can’t accomplish this right away.

Undoing years, and possibly ongoing, conditioning isn’t simple.

It will take time and strong effort.

You don’t have to go through this journey alone.

Bring the love, encouragement, and support of others along the way.

With that in mind, here are the three root causes of blocks when reconnecting with the inner child:

#1 Self-Hatred


As I previously mentioned, the inner child is very similar to who you were back when you were young.

This is because that is its origin.

When you came into this earth, you were exactly as you intended to be.

All aspects of you serve a purpose are a part of why you were brought into existence.

Unfortunately, as time passed by and the process of socialization happened (more on this later), you fragmented.

You’ve learned to do the following:

  • Hide your authentic self
  • Only show what people say is acceptable
  • Pretend the inner child doesn’t exist in you

But the truth is, even as you grow older in years and no matter how you deny it, this part of you never goes away.

You’ve learned to do to yourself what others have done to you.

This may seem like a terrible thing but really, it’s not your fault.

Back then, you were punished, shamed, guilted, etc. for expressing certain attributes.

And unlike adults who have fully-formed brains and are capable of discerning the relative value of opinion, children are completely at the mercy of those around them.

They can’t possibly understand that the criticism they received a long time ago was because of a person’s:

  • Mood
  • Biases
  • Beliefs
  • Trauma
  • Ignorance
  • Lack of emotional regulation

Moreover, they look up to the grown-ups around them. After all, an adult should know better than a child, right?

And so, they learned to shift the blame to themselves.

“Something must be wrong with me. I must be defective and I deserve this,” this is what becomes deeply ingrained in their minds.

This is how the inner child is covered up due to self-hatred.

And with each passing painful experience, the person blames himself or herself more and more for the pain.

The inner child then progressively becomes hidden away (parts of it) and replaced with a mask ego.

When you strip away these masks, you get the child back again!

Luckily for us, no matter our past, the inner child never goes away.

It’s been there all along, waiting for your rescue.

#2 Adulthood


As a child, most people are quite childlike and exhibit the following attributes:

  • Playful
  • Creative
  • Free in mind

The magical creativity, playfulness, health, joy, adventure, and the quest for discovery are all natural aspects of the child.

However, as a person grows up, they collect a variety of:

  • Fears
  • “Shoulds”
  • Definitions
  • “Should nots”

All of these cut off the spontaneity and creativity of the child.

The child personality then gets pushed further and further away as the ‘adult’ personalities emerge.

Yet, in many ways, the adult is still the same child.

Over time, they’re just covered up in the collection of:

  • Fears
  • Rules
  • Beliefs
  • Patterns

Being older doesn’t have to mean losing the spark within you. 

Although adult life is filled with responsibilities and realities that you have to deal with, it also means that you are big enough to conquer what you couldn’t before.

You can help yourself now. You are capable enough.

You are bigger and stronger than you used to be.

Allow yourself to express your inner child because now it’s different. Now, you’re also there to protect it.

#3 Upbringing


The last reason on this list, and possibly one of the biggest contributors, is upbringing.

Growing up, you may have had people reward (pay) you to be a certain way, and punish you to make you avoid being a certain way.

That was then.

Now, notice that you have the power to think as you wish.

No one can get into your head and make you think in any way except that which you choose to. 

No one.

It is impossible.

No one can get into your head and direct your thoughts – they can only try to influence you with the hope that you will accept and take on that influence.

So now, notice the following:

“No one is paying me to think as I do.”

Notice that it is only you who is choosing to think as you do, for whatever reasons you give yourself.

“No one is punishing me to think as I do.”

Notice that, unlike when you were a child, perhaps, no one is forcing you to think as you do.

It is only yourself, with the reasons you give yourself for whatever reasons, that is choosing to continue thinking as you do.

If at all you feel as if you are being forced to think in a certain way, notice that this “forcing” cannot work unless you accept it.

Stop and notice that you are the master of your thoughts, even though you may not have been deliberately aware of this before.

Then, notice that you don’t have to think the way you do anymore if you don’t like it.

It may be tempting to vilify people around you considering their impact.

However, it is necessary to keep in mind that people only pass on what they think is right.

What’s important is you stop this cycle, heal from it, and impart healthier beliefs to the ones in your life.

Why Your Inner Child Is The ‘Real’ You

Why Your Inner Child Is The ‘Real’ You

At this point in this article, you already know that unleashing your inner child takes a lot of work.

So, why should you put tons of effort into it in the first place?

What is so special about the inner child?

Here’s why:

The inner child is your essence in pure form, without distortions of fears and limiting beliefs.

It is who you are naturally, with all your desires, creativity, magic, joy, playfulness, present attention…

That is why most great artists, composers, inventors, and so on all credit their inner children for their best moments of creativity.

When you bring back your inner child you bring back a very large inventory of capabilities, joy, and life purpose!

It is who you are before you adopted external ideas, beliefs, limitations, fears, and so on.


Allow me to end this article with a quote from Maria Montessori:

“No social problem is as universal as the oppression of the child… No slave was ever so much the property of his master as the child is of his parent… Never were the rights of man so disregarded as in the case of the child…”

Your inner child has been with you throughout your life, silenced and neglected.

It’s time to give it your attention, listen to what it has to say, and experience life through its perspective.

If this post has altered your viewpoint, you’ll love my book Who Am I? Finally, a Simple Answer the Question, “How Can I Be Happy?”

It’s available on Amazon and even has a Kindle version.

You can also stay tuned to this blog to read more posts like this.

Till next time!

About The Author

Picture of David Cameron Gikandi

David Cameron Gikandi

A creative consultant on The Secret (2006) documentary, David Cameron Gikandi is an entrepreneur and manifesting coach and consultant for conscious entrepreneurs, leaders, life coaches who are looking to create more impact in their lives. He also helps them decode their essence so they can bring that into their lives, businesses, tribes and societies. He is also the author of A Happy Pocket Full of Money and other publications. David is also a futurist interested in blockchain technology which he believes will have wide-ranging applications including decentralized finance (DeFi). He holds a BSc. in International Business, an MSc. in Information Technology, a Dip. in Film Production, is a Microsoft Certified Solution Developer, and a Blockchain Revolution in Financial Services Specialization from INSEAD.

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