How To Love Yourself Unconditionally

How To Love Yourself Unconditionally

Do you wish to learn about unconditional self-love? In this post, I will help you gain knowledge on this topic.

I’ll also share with you the following concepts:

  • The true definition of unconditional love
  • Changes that happen when you practice self-love
  • Why most people don’t know how to love themselves

Note: Although this article is all about self-love, know that you can absolutely apply what you learned here towards other people!

The principles remain the same.

I have to point out though that you must always start from within since everything begins from your inner world.

So, are you ready to begin? Let’s continue.

How Does An Individual Practice Unconditional Self-Love?

Unconditional self-love takes place when an individual gives space for themselves to be exactly who they are, simply allow all aspects of their being, and practice self-acceptance. This is also unlocked by healing blockages.

What Is Unconditional Love?

What Is Unconditional Love?

Before you can practice unconditional self-love, you need to know exactly what it is.

If you have no clue what this means, this isn’t surprising at all.

First of all, the concept of self-love itself is not widely discussed.

We are all just expected to know this innately and through common sense.

This is because a vast majority of people only talk about love in the context of romance.

As a result, most of us don’t really have a proper understanding of how this works internally.

Here’s the truth:

If this wasn’t modeled to you in childhood, you will have issues practicing it as an adult.

Another thing that I would like to highlight is the word “unconditional.”

Many people who say they love themselves are unaware that they are only doing this for the part of them that is deemed acceptable.

Their shadow selves, or the aspects that are perceived as bad, are hidden away.

This isn’t good for you since embracing all of your parts will give you access to previously untapped capabilities.

Thus, we all require a clear definition of unconditional self-love.

Allow me to help you with this.

When it comes to complete and self-directed love, here’s what you need to understand:

Unconditional Love = Space = Allowing = Acceptance

Let me go over these concepts one by one:

  • Space: Unconditional love is the same thing as space. To love is to give someone the space to be who they are.
  • Allowing: Moreover, space is the same thing as allowing. You need to permit them to exist exactly as they are.
  • Acceptance: Finally, whenever you practice the art of allowing, you are exercising acceptance. This does not mean that you necessarily agree with it, but take it in as part of life, part of the greater whole.

These are all the same things:

Therefore, whenever you find yourself wondering how to love yourself and other people unconditionally simply remember that all you have to do is:

  • Let them be
  • Accept them
  • Give them space

Resistance: The Opposite Of Love

Resistance: The Opposite Of Love

Now that you know its definition, I want to tackle its opposite: resistance.

As I discussed in the article The #1 Self-Improvement Hack You’ve Been Missing Out On, when you do not accept yourself, you’re resisting who you are.

And as I said earlier, acceptance, allowing, space, and unconditional love are all one.

When an individual does not practice self-love, they will encounter blocks.

Here’s a diagram to illustrate what I mean:

Stream of life 1

As you can see above, within the pink box label Field Of Experience, in the middle is a column of fear and on the right side are arrows of resistance.

Meanwhile, located on the left side, there is a huge arrow marked as Stream Of Life containing boxes 1,2,3,4, and 5.

You’ll also notice that the red box with the number 1 on it is placed inside the Field Of Experience.

Let me explain what this all means:

If you are in resistance (in this case meaning you do not accept or love yourself) and fear is also present (ex: fear of your shadow self), you cannot progress in life.

Note: You can get more info on dealing with fear in this article:

This results in you being stuck and it can take place for many years.

You cannot evolve or improve yourself successfully.

That is why you need to practice unconditional self-love.

This is what happens when you do:

Stream of life 2

As you can observe, the stream of life flows smoothly and you are no longer blocked.

It is so simple.

You have heard it said a million times that love is the greatest power of all.

They are not talking about romantic love.

They are talking about:

  • Space (giving space to what is)
  • Acceptance (accepting what is)
  • Allowing (allowing what is to be)

3 Amazing Results Of Loving Yourself Unconditionally

Because you are living in a new way and moving from resistance to self-love, you will notice a lot of changes take place.

This is completely natural!

Remember, having and being are the same thing in different guises, two sides of the same coin.

You cannot separate having and being.

What you are, so is your world.

These are the most noticeable changes you’ll observe:

#1 Clarity of thought

Clarity of thought

Well, beyond the fact that you feel better immediately with unconditional self-love, the supreme benefit is clarity.

It is the endpoint.

At clarity, you can have what is known as a strong thought.

A strong thought is one that has no opposition.

You have moved beyond doubt, conflict, and so on.

It is no longer an “if,” a hope, theory, or concept.

You have moved past faith.

You now know.

You become an unobstructed creator of your reality, at peace, and with power.

Remember that all obstacles that you face actually originate from within your being, even though they may seem to come from outside of you.

At clarity, you are generating no more obstacles.

When you can clearly focus on your desire without any inner obstructions, you create life miraculously, unopposed!

Acceptance or self-love is the gateway to focus; when you stop fighting, you have peace and clarity.

Focus is achieved by releasing (via acceptance) and this frees you to feel good and think about what you want and move on.

#2 Visible body changes

Visible body changes

You may also experience visible changes in your body.

For some people, they lose weight or add muscle, or find that their shoulders no longer slouch or their frame changes.

Some people experience a day or two of a skin rash in a particular area of their body as old, buried irritations surface and move away, and then it goes.

Others find that they cry and let go for a whole afternoon one day, and then they feel massively free from an old weight.

Others find that an old tension or chronic pain vanishes.

For others even, they may get a running stomach for a while as old beliefs move out, and then it will stop all on its own and a new you will emerge. 

With every change in beliefs, you find that your body goes through some minor or major change.

In fact, and I must warn you now, sometimes you may find that the body seems to go into a disease for a short period during the transition, and then re-emerges even healthier than before!

Whatever happens, don’t worry about it.

Let it pass; it’s a good thing.

The body has its wisdom that exceeds that of your doctor.

#3 Shift in perspective & emotions

Shift in perspective & emotions

Moreover, your emotions and perspective will change.

Again, each person will experience the change differently.

But the key thing here is that you will start thinking and feeling differently.

You may, for example, go through a period whereby you feel relaxed, and then perhaps even ungrounded and pointless as the transition happens.

And then, there will come a time when you will enter a new predominant feeling point whereby you are unbounded and happy.

You will also see things differently.

For example, things that scare you longer will.

Things that made you stressed or uncomfortable will not even register.

Additionally, those that you missed seeing, such as opportunities, will now become easily and readily apparent.

Certain things that were difficult to learn will now become easy.

Old habits that were entrenched may suddenly fall away all on their own (some habits and indulgences are actually tools that are used in the resistance pattern, and when that resistance pattern drops, the habit drops also automatically).

You will gain a certain new freedom, and more.

# BONUS: Transformation of your outer world

Transformation of your outer world

Your material world will also change.

Again, this will be personal, so I cannot tell you how yours will change specifically.

But, for example, some people find that old negative relationships with others magically transform into positive ones.

The guy you have been having a deep argument with for years suddenly calls you and the two of you somehow bury the hatchet and make peace in minutes.

For others, it may be that the financial problem you have been struggling with for a while magically disappears and a new level of financial stability is established seemingly magically.

Or a new business opportunity or career may emerge out of the blue.

Perhaps you might find a new, very loved, and dear pet (dog, cat, etc) coming into your life that will make you very happy.

Or you may get a new relationship partner.

There are no direct and predictable lines to some of these things; only that new forms (“things”) come into your life that corresponds with the new perspective and feeling point.

When will these changes happen?

And will they happen all at once? I can’t tell you that.

No one can tell you that.

It is part of life; the mystery of the path.

So don’t try to find an answer to exactly what path your changes will take.

They will unfold in the best way possible for you and the greater whole.


It is easy to love yourself when you accomplish things and when other people validate you.

The challenge is sticking through the hard times.

And so, it is my sincerest desire that after reading my article, you now have a good grasp on how you can practice unconditional self-love.

Know that the positive change will also extend to your other relationships.

And so, aside from the personal benefits you’ll reap, you also enhance other people’s lives.

Working on this is truly worth it!

With that being said, if you want to learn more about this subject, my book Success Through Self-Acceptance: Self-help and spirituality, a practical how-to guide discusses this comprehensively.

I also have a course on my website that can guide you even further.

Just click the link to start my program Spirituality & The Subconscious Revealed & Reprogrammed.

Additionally, my blog and newsletter are also packed with enlightening and completely-free articles.

I would like to thank you for reading this post in its entirety and I’d love to see you in the next one!

About The Author

Picture of David Cameron Gikandi

David Cameron Gikandi

A creative consultant on The Secret (2006) documentary, David Cameron Gikandi is an entrepreneur and manifesting coach and consultant for conscious entrepreneurs, leaders, life coaches who are looking to create more impact in their lives. He also helps them decode their essence so they can bring that into their lives, businesses, tribes and societies. He is also the author of A Happy Pocket Full of Money and other publications. David is also a futurist interested in blockchain technology which he believes will have wide-ranging applications including decentralized finance (DeFi). He holds a BSc. in International Business, an MSc. in Information Technology, a Dip. in Film Production, is a Microsoft Certified Solution Developer, and a Blockchain Revolution in Financial Services Specialization from INSEAD.

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